🪜 What is a "Conjoined Trance State" Of Arousal?
Sex vastly improves when you get out of your performative mind and into a partnered flow state.
💗 Don’t leave me hanging like an unsupported boob — hit that heart!
Hey Yummy Buns,
“There are different levels of trance that we go to, and the deepest levels are the ones that we most want to reach. They’re the ones where people have experiences where you don’t know where your body ends and your lover’s body begins, and you feel one with the universe, and you recognize divine unity and bliss. That’s the deepest trance state.” — Sheri Winston
The way we get into an orgasmic trance state is by practicing. No one is born knowing. This is a learned skill. You achieve ecstatic bliss states through trying and experiencing them. Then, the pathway to that bliss gets easier and easier to attain. And your sex life goes off the charts!
The more we practice going into that trance state, the easier it gets. The easiest way to get there and the way that we get deeper into our trance state is by creating a setting where we can turn our brains OFF. Keeping the thinking part of our brain going prevents us from achieving this level of entrainment.
The trance state is enhanced by using the tools of our mind and our body and our heart, and our spirit. Use your body’s intrinsic tools of breathing and sound, movement, and vision, both inner vision and shared vision with a partner, by eye gazing.
Music and more animal-like movements get us into those states. We can use our bodies and our sound to help us focus.
If your partner is having trouble “dropping in” to a sexual trance with you, encourage them to take ten nice big breaths while they open and close their pelvic floor muscles and let the breath sounds move down their body.
Say, “Oh baby, breathe with me,” and go “Ahhhhhhhhh…” with them. Start opening your mouths and opening your bottoms and pulling each other deeper and deeper into that trance state.
When we’re with a partner, the more we do it for ourselves, the more we’re encouraging and supporting them to do it for themselves. When we do it together, we create this harmonic oscillation that enhances and deepens that trance state.
I call that pelvic breathing. Everyone can benefit from helping their body get into this flow or trance state. The sex just gets better when you get out of your performative mind and into flow.
Most people have occasionally had spontaneous, serendipitous, amazing, mind-blowing cosmic sex. But you can learn to get there on purpose every single time you make love.
The thing about the trance state is that most of us learn our solo sexual trance first, and then we learn how to be in what I think of as parallel trance.
I’m getting you turned on, you’re getting me turned on, and we take turns, and we’re sort of both in our own little sexual trance world, but we happen to be trying to do it at the same time. That can be good, but the highest level is when we get into a conjoined trance.
When we’re in that trance, it stops mattering who’s doing what to whom. I get just as turned on by sucking your member as you are by having your member sucked.
You get just as turned on by licking my vulva as I am by having it licked. We literally become telepathic, and we start to feel what the other person is feeling.
In fact, what’s interesting is that science documents that this happens on a real level.
You can’t touch somebody without also being touched. It’s like a hug; it’s not a one-way thing, it’s always a two-way thing. When you’re really tuned in to the interface, your body starts to register what you’re doing to the other person as if it’s happening to you.
Perception happens in your brain, and if you think somebody is giving you pleasure, your brain goes, “Okay, it must be real.” We literally, both physically and energetically and emotionally in every way, can get to that place, and that’s what we’re aiming for.
It's pretty wild how exploring those trance-like states during sex can open up a whole new level of connection.
When you can switch off your busy brain and just sink into the rhythm of your body, it's like you're opening yourself up to this amazing place of unity and bliss.
It's something you can actually practice and get better at. Things like breathing in sync, using sounds, and moving together are all like doorways to that deeper feeling.
It’s also important to create more opportunities for sex and help you make each interaction slipperier into these ecstatic trance states.
This free ebook, More Sex More Often, teaches you the first of the four keys to seduction: “Running Small Offers.”
More Sex More Often ⇐ Discover How To Run A Menu Of Small Offers
Using “Small Offers” is about building this flow where desire and intimacy just happen naturally. Things like ‘small offers’ and being aware of the signals your partner gives off help you become more connected and build this flow where the journey towards deeper sex is just as good as the actual sex itself.
So it’s like the breathwork helps you get into a deeper sensual experience, and then “More Sex More Often” gives you the know-how to keep that door open and create a steady stream of connection and pleasure
Ski Down The Slippery Slope Of Small Offers,
Suz
